Thursday 6 December 2007

A few things I never could believe

In his delightfully pessimistic song, “Everything Goes To Hell” (2002), Tom Waits sings:

    There’s a few things that I never could believe:
    A woman when she weeps
    A merchant when he swears
    A thief who says he’ll pay
    A lawyer when he cares
    A snake when he is sleeping
    A drunkard when he prays…

So that got me thinking. And here are a few things that I never can believe:

  • A telemarketer who wants “just a few moments.”
  • A politician who talks about “our way of life.”
  • A church which describes itself as “Bible-based.”
  • A record company which produces “Christian music.”
  • A theologian who uses the word “tolerance.”
  • A TV preacher who says “glory to God!”


michael jensen said...

what about:

'a blogger who makes lists of things he doesn't believe'?


Anonymous said...


This is very meme-inviting.

How about, 'a preacher when s/he says, 'And now for my final point ...'?


'a blogging husband who says to his wife while he is finishing off a post, "I'll be there in a sec"'?

Jim said...

I could never believe a purple shirt wearing Anglican Bishop. Purple shirts evoke images of the cartoon dinosaur Barney.

J. Ro said...

I'm curious as to why it's hard to believe that a church is Bible-based? That's the only one of your bullets that I didn't understand.

Anonymous said...

Well, of course the statement is rhetorical for impact, but I think, perhaps it is because many of the "bible-believing" churches fail to realize that their own interpretations of the bible and assumptions of how it ought to be used and interpreted are far from biblical. Restated: the hermeneutic of many Bible-believing churches is primarily conditioned by their European, modernist culture, - not simply the Bible as they claim.

and it makes for good discussion :)

Anonymous said...

I not believe that green beans and NOT peas (as opposed to the opening of deutero-Kings) are the most life sustaining vegetable in the Garden.

Until evidence to the contrary can be made, I will stick with the received tradition.

Anonymous said...

I'm with Jim - pink shirted bishops who patronise their own pet fanclub and live in a castle and write alot of trollop - rehashed often, and only ever useful for demolishing.


Anonymous said...

I get a lot of that, Steph. I think it's the castle that makes you so jealous...

Anonymous said...

That's just wicked. No: I'm peacefully and blissfully happy in my one room flat - but the castle is symbolic of the bishop's hypocrisy.


Anonymous said...

When he was in Wales Rowan Williams wore black. Does he still wear black in England? It is, after all, the colour of mourning.

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