Caption contest: the Archbishop's tea party
Okay, when Maggi linked to this, I just knew it had to be our next caption contest. The winner will receive a nice new book.
Note: See also Bruce's disturbing Jesus caption contest: it'll scare the bejesus out of you.
(In Irish accent)
"Another spot of tea vicar? Ah! Go on, go on, go on."
A wee bit more, Gandalf?
Dumbledorable.
"You can have one tart Rowan, the others are for Mrs Schori and Mr Jensen, where are they, this tea is getting cold"
For all his insight, it wasn't until it was too late that he realised he'd been poisoned.
But where did you expect the dormouse to be?
"Wittgenstein has sent you down the wrong path with that grammar shit you know."
The Archbishop was shocked to learn that his favourite tea shop was exploiting child labour
While ecumenical relations between the Anglican Communion and the Roman Catholic church continue to remain strained over such issues as the ordination of women and LGBT persons to the episcopacy, the ecumenical relations between the Anglican Communion and Young Children received a surprising boost this week when, at the first annual Tea Party for the Institute of Generational Unity, the Archbishop of Canterbury Rowan Williams discovered that he'd actually been invited to a "Vodka Party."
Oh, God! This doesn't taste like decaf? She said it was decaf! How will I ever get to sleep tonight...
It wasn't until he'd taken the first sip of tea that she said gravely: "Sharia law, Rowan. That's what this country needs." With a great flash of insight, he realised he'd finally found an interesting topic for tonight's lecture.
"So, shall we make a toast to GAFCON, now and forever!"
"Did I tell you that AUFS is taking over F&T beginning next week?"
"My mom says that you're a 'godless revisionist, hellbent on destroying the church,' but you seem pretty nice to me!"
As the archbishop sipped his tea, he thought: "Now why don't I have a pretty crown like that?"
This is a lot more fun than tea with Pope Benedict last week.
"...an' sancify dem by yer holy spiwit to be de body an' bwood of Jeezus Chwist ou' Lode..."
I got it from the toilet - it's the only water I can reach
Ironically, the Archbishop had just been lamenting how much less photogenic he was than John, Stan, or Joseph.
You fool! You fell victim to one of the classic blunders! The most famous is never publish a paper on the church and homosexuality, but only slightly less well-known is this: never go in against a munchkin when death is on the line!
Child: "is the tea any good?"
Rowan: "to answer that, the discourse on tea must offer a sufficient imaginative resource for confronting the entire range of tea complexity without evasion or untruthfulness; only when divorced from this (tea party) context of a kind of imaginative skill does tea discourse fall into the trap of pretending to be a comprehensive system for plotting, connecting, 'fixing' and exhaustively accounting for the range of tea experiences. in other words, palletive integrity is possible as and when discourse about tea declines to take the tea's point of view"
Child: "so, ... no?"
-Rob
I like Anonymous Rob's above and Andrew Smith's poisoned caption.
Great Pic Ben and excellent captions.
"The theological wine-drinker who can grab a beer with the common folk ... has met his match!"
"Just one more attempt at the perfect concoction to drink away the liberal/conservative blues. But this time it hit the spot."
"Snap! I forgot to set 'Britain's Got Talent' to record..."
"Akinola sent me. He hopes you enjoy his special drink."
"You are saying what at Lambeth, Mr Rowan?! Give me back my tea... spit it back in the pot right now!"
Maybe if I feed him he won't eat me.
The tarts were a bit bland. The tea was at best lukewarm. And the bear on the teapot vacuously stared at Rowan with its creepily giddy smile. But none of this mattered. For after bluntly commenting on how looked like Owl from Winnie the Pooh, little Lucy served Rowan the most creative interpretation of Arius he had ever heard.
-Adam Williams
If you're in the caption contest mood, dare I shamelessly advertise another...
http://dbhamill.wordpress.com/
A cross-dressing Welsh bard, hearing his tea leaves read by the Young Druid of the Year at the 1999 National Eisteddfod, discovers the identity of the next Archbishop of Canterbury.
Waving her tea pot, the girl exclaims: "I haven't poured the tea yet, silly wizard!"
so Vicar whose commentary do you prefer Dunn, Dodd or Dumbledor?
"Oh I assure you Archbishop - Parts of it are quite good"
"Hey kid, most people serve the good stuff first, then the poorer. But you have kept the best stuff until now. Cana redivivis"
"There is no harm in admitting that one may possibly pray better, in certain cases, after a cup of tea than without it." Karl Rahner
'The diamonds, Rowan. The deal was for the diamonds!'
As Mary insisted that Rowan's love of Anglican compromise shouldn't obstruct a public display of affection for 'high' tea, the Archbishop hid behind his famous 'I'm just an owl' get out manoeuver.
"You're ePIScopalian, Mr Rowan? Funny you should say that..."
So Mr Rowan, who is your favourite Spice Girl?
Wright said what?!? I know what I meant to say...he doesn't have to "clarify" everything that those Americans hate me for
"You have an opinion on the Covenant?"
That's the one I spat in, Mr Rowan!
But it is so simple! All I have to do is divine from what I know of you. Are you the sort of man that would put the poison into his own gobblet or his enemies? Now a clever man would put the poison into his own gobblet because he would know that only a great fool would reach toward what he was given! I'm not a great fool so I can clearly not choose the wine in front of you! But you must have known I was not a great fool! You would have counted on it! So I can clearly not choose the wine in front of me!
Morgana: Merlin, I wanted you to know your secret's safe with me.
Merlin: My secret?
Morgana: Come on. Don't pretend. I know what you did.
Merlin: You do?
Morgana: I saw it with my own eyes.
Merlin: You did?
Morgana: I understand why you don't want anyone to know.
Merlin: Well, obviously...
Morgana: I won't tell anyone. You don't mind me talking to you about it?
Merlin: No. It's... you have no idea how hard it is to keep this hidden.
Morgana: Well, you can continue to deny it but... I think Gwen's a very lucky woman.
AC: That's a cute purple outfit.
Child: I've already become a bishop in America.
AC: Oh no! What will the conservatives think?
Good golly, I think she's slipped me a mickey.
-B's submission has prompted the following:
"The pellet with the poison's in the vessel with the pestle; the chalice from the palace has the brew that is true"
"Silly Rowan, this is a Neti Pot."
The Archbishop is frightfully unimpressed with the General Synod's proposed alternative to the administration of the presently suspended common cup.
Having detected the faint but unmistakable taste of hemlock, the archbishop opted to forego a second "token of trust" at the ecumenical luncheon.
`Have you guessed the riddle yet?' the Hatter said, turning to Alice again.
`No, I give it up,' Alice replied: `what's the answer?'
`I haven't the slightest idea,' said the Hatter.
`Nor I,' said the March Hare.
Alice sighed wearily. `I think you might do something better with the time,' she said, `than waste it in asking riddles that have no answers.'
The Archbishop encountered this little one while testing out the new communion wares he had ordered.
-or-
So Archbishop it is the blood of Christ before you drink it right?
Why are you so surprised, Vicar? I told you i made the lemonade all by myself...
If you weren't below the age of accountability I would excommunicate you for putting vodka in this tea!
-Emerson
My nose is stuck!
I BLOW BUBBLES!!!
"It's true! Diet Dr. Pepper does taste more like real Dr. Pepper!
Wait a second... this isn't sugar in my tea!
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