Thursday 5 February 2009

Atheist bus signs: a caption contest

Over in the UK, the atheist bus campaign has been attracting a lot of media interest. Some Christian groups have chimed in with their own (predictably humourless) rival ads, and there have been various theological responses as well.

So anyway, I reckon it’s time to settle this dispute once and for all – and what better way to resolve age-old metaphysical questions than with a caption contest? I’ll send a free book to the person who invents the best bus sign. (You get bonus points if your sign persuades someone to change their deepest beliefs.)


Anonymous said...

There may or may not be a God, but if you don't stop reading this sign and watch where you're driving, you'll find out soon enough.

Anonymous said...

You can take this a step further and visualise it with this cool online "bus quote" generator.

Anonymous said...

Which, having looked closer at your post I assume you've already discovered.

Anonymous said...

John Milbank's latest attempt to prove he is smarter than everyone else.

Anonymous said...

But what the fuck would I know? I'm only a bus.

Anonymous said...

Relax! God loves a smiling atheist.

Anonymous said...

This one may be a bit lost on british audience, but could throw a cat among pigeons.

Jesus says: Take a London bus. You'll never be LEFT BEHIND.

The Dude said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
The Dude said...

God exits.
And if he doesn't, we kick him off like everyone else.

Simon Woodman said...

Here's my attempt:
There's probably no driver.
Now stop worrying and enjoy the ride

Steve Wright said...

The bus thought, 'one day they'll let me dress myself.'

John Santic said...

Saying there is no God...Is like saying a tornado built this bus while ripping through a junkyard.

p.t.abubo said...

There's probably no dog. So stop complaining, and enjoy your taco.

Anonymous said...

There's probably no Dawkins.
But please don't stop buying his books.

Anonymous said...

There's probably no good reason why atheists who use the word probably shouldn't call themselves agnostics.

Anonymous said...

Idiocy #1:
As if, pace Dawkins, the question were an empirical one, to be decided by the accumulation of evidence!

Idiocy #2:
Can you imagine a serious atheist saying such a facile feel-good inanity? In rebellion Ivan Karamazov says that he will return God his ticket, while these jerks are buying ringside seats and cotton candy.

Idiocy #3
And then the Christian counter "SO JOIN THE CHRISTIAN PARTY AND ENJOY LIFE." Talk about Dumb and Dumber!

My atheist add:

My Christian add:

in said...

There is no God and so:
Our inheritance is turned over to strangers and foreigners occupy our homes.

Anonymous said...

Capitalism: We've got you whether you belive in us or not.

the don said...

admittedly distasteful:

"I don't know if there's a God, but if this bus blows up, we'll find out who was right..."

Anonymous said...

Ben, you may have seen my bus signs in another place - I spent rather too much time the other day having fun with the bus sign generator!

There's probably no room.
But stop worrying, another bus will be along in a mo.

There's probably no hod.
So stop building and have a tea break.

One for the sci-fi afficionado:
There's probably no Ood.
So calm down, it's just Doctor Who.

One that may not make much sense outside UK:
There's probably no Gok.
Now stop asking whether your bum looks big in this.

Probably? No. There's God.
Now stop worrying and enjoy new life.

There's definitely no power
that can separate us from the love of God.

steph said...

I bet there is no sex in heaven.

Heaven could be hell - Hell could be heaven.

Guess what? They're all wrong.

David Keen said...

Due to snow, there's probably no bus.
Act of God? That would be ironic.

Anonymous said...

"The fool has said in his heart, 'there is no bus' . . ."

Micky said...

Medical advice bus ad:

That's really bad cough
now stop being a martyr
and take your Benylin

60's youth culture bus ad:

There's probably no Mods
Now stop looking worried
and drive your Harley with impunity.

Mother to teenage son bus ad:

You're probably not a slob (yeah right)
Now stop making excuses
and enjoy tidying your room.

Michial Farmer said...

There is no God. Disagree? Step in front of this bus and prove me wrong.

visual theology said...

Can't resist joining in the fun:

It's all an illusion
This bus probably doesn't exist
Blame The Matrix


You are a figment of God's imagination
How cool is that

Jon said...

Atheists are like buses...

You wait around for one for ages...

And then they all arrive at once...

Todd Brewer said...

"Why did Jesus cross the road?
To get you to the other side."

Nathan P. Gilmour said...

Does a bus have Buddha nature?

Andrew Crome said...

"Tritheism: You wait ages for a God, then three show up at once!"

Something of a riff on Jon's, I'm afraid!

Logan said...

I don't know if there's a God. But if I believe hard enough, maybe you'll get a prize.

Anonymous said...

Prepare to burn in HELL atheists! Repent now or die!

Not sure if the liberals would allow this one to fly under "religious freedom." Oppressive bastards don't know that God hates liberals too.

djerma said...

I don't know if I'm an idiot, but don't worry since i'm enjoying myself.

Anonymous said...

In line with C.S. Lewis' account in "The Great Divorce":

"Maybe with some Luck you might get in one of my seats and I will take you to Heaven!"

Anonymous said...

I hope that I understand the contest:

I don't know if there's a God but I'm still a good Catholic

I don't know if there's a God and I'm not really sure about the moon landing

I don't know if there's a God but I might not have hit rock bottom just yet

I don't know if there's a God but when someone asks you if you're a god, you say "Yes"

I don't know if there's a God and there just isn't a slow, slow train comin' up around the bend

I don't know if there's a God but that Richard Williamson guy seems to make a lot of sense*


Sorry, somewhat distasteful for a bus.

Anonymous said...

On a Canaanite bus, ca. 1500 B.C.:

"Just watch a sunset and tell me that there's not a Baal."

Anonymous said...

There's probably no life
unless you stop worrying
and enjoy your God

Anonymous said...

Does God care what is on a bus?
But if God does, I think we may all wish otherwise.


Pete Heiniger said...

No God? I don't know, the Spice Girls broke up!

____ Happens! And at least determinists have someone to blame it on!

Anonymous said...

Mister boojah boojah says: relax no one is in charge.

Paul said...

"I don't know if there is a God, but I sure do have one hell of a wife!"

By the way, for Tom Waits fans out there, if you type in "Tom Waits God" at YouTube you can catch his humorous thoughts on this subject.

Anonymous said...

Another Tom Waits one:

There's probably no devil.
That's just God when he's drunk.

Anonymous said...

I cast a vote for Bruce Hamill's fantastic "Relax! God loves a smiling atheist."

Anonymous said...

'There is probably no such a thing as a bus.'

Anonymous said...

I made an attempt on my own blog before I heard of this, but I'd be remiss if I didn't post a link: There's Probably No Point To This, So Stop Fighting And Enjoy the Humor

Joe said...

What if God was one of us?
Just a stranger right about here ^

Anonymous said...

Is there a God?
Jesus Christ, what a question!

Anonymous said...

Eric P: does an agnostic ever really worry that there might be a God? I don't think so. Eg: "there can't be a God but I can't prove it"

Theists and Atheists are untruthful, Agnostics are truthful. Where's the evidence?

Anonymous said...

I live in Adelaide so: What Bus??!

Chris L. Travers said...

To long for the contest, but they should probably have a creed to go along with it, something like:

I believe in the non-gender specific deity of my choosing;
the Great Acquaintance,
likely and probable creator of all that I have seen
and may one day see.

I believe in myself, the one who engenders all that is,
and ever will be with regards to the Great Acquaintance.
Who was conceived by the power of my Sub-conscience
and born of my Conscience.
Who suffered under the scrutiny of this world.

I believe in the power of Science,
the American Medical Association,
the communion of scientists,
the progress of choice,
the resuscitation of my body,
and the perpetuation of my life.


Anonymous said...

There's probably no God, but there's definitely an economy. So stop worrying and buy something.

Anonymous said...

Steph-- I've never been an agnostic in any theological sense worth mentioning, but I can't imagine being one without wanting to leave no cosmic stone unturned until I knew the answer one way or the other. Perhaps that's just my personality though.

Anyway, my post is more for grins than for serious philosophical statements. I poke fun of my own beliefs on at least one sign. :-)

Anonymous said...

If you are having doubts about whether or not God exists, ask Him.

Mark Bowald said...

Is there a God? Is there a bus driver? Enjoy the ride.

Anonymous said...

God knows : Who is John Galt?
Only Jesus can get you to your destination.

Unknown said...

In case of rapture, this bus will not be unmanned.

Anonymous said...

Eric P.

As a happy agnostic I can affirm that I don't stress over things I can't prove and just accept there 'isn't' a God. Why believe what I can't prove. I want evidence but that's just my personality. I'm not an atheist because I'm not interested in philosophical arguments about something for which there is no evidence either for or against. I'm more interested in investigating things for which there is more evidence - like the history of religion.


Theists and Atheists are untruthful, Agnostics are truthful. Who knows?

Agnostics don't worry - atheists and theists worry in case they are wrong.

Anonymous said...

There's probably no spoon.
Now stop worrying and enjoy the matrix.

Anonymous said...

Well, given your recent visit to Vancouver, here's one that reflects the culture out here:

"There's probably no God
But if you don't recycle She will crush you like a bug."

Anonymous said...

thankfully, God has not said in his heart 'there is no fool'

Malcolm+ said...

Bus signs got us talking about God.
Those atheists. God bless them.

Bradley Penner said...

That's a big "IF"!

Jonathan Marlowe said...


Bryce said...

"Doubt: It happens in Gardens and in Free Societies. Thank God."

steph said...

If you think a bus sign is going to make me think about religion, pigs can fly.

Anonymous said...

There's probably no God.
But when did improbability ever get in God's way?

Andy said...

What do a bus and God have in common? They both take atheists for a ride.

dpotter said...

And God responded, 'There's probably no atheists, either.' Rom 1:19

Anonymous said...

Not my own, I'm afraid - but one that is doing the rounds online:

"There's probably no cod. Now stop complaining, and eat your sardines."

LKT said...

Here's my submission:

What do you mean "probably"?
Pascal would point out
that's not totally reassuring.

Erin said...

Here's Your Sign in the Sky;
Even God slashed his budget.

There is no God
This bus is guided by an invisible hand.

This bus does not believe in God.
or red lights.

If there is no God
Who was it standing at the last stop?

If there is no God
then this job is your fault.

In times of Trouble, who do you trust?
Pray to God for a big, red bus.

This is not a sign
Because there is no signified.

By the by, I'm glad the posts are in jest. I was always a little uncomfortable with this series that has been on billboards in the us for years:

Good, silly fun, thanks :)

dave said...

"you're probably not going to enjoy your life, so why not believe in God?"

wilhelm sabri said...

If there's only probability and no God, why do you stop enjoying your life and start worrying?

Anonymous said...

"Maybe there is a God. Shouldn't you investigate?"

Anonymous said...

"Don't sneeze! You might miss something pithy and profound..."

steph said...

For God's sake I'm not bothered so shut up about God.

Anonymous said...

Which god-idea?
Whose god-idea?

Why not leave the word god out of it completely?

The heart must be permitted to achieve a universal feeling-ecstasy!


Happiness IS the Conscious Light of the world.

Anonymous said...

Laudate, omnibus gentes, laudate dominum!

Simon Woodman said...

Along the same lines as Theo:
Ex omnibus
tribulationibus meis
eripuit me.

Anonymous said...

"You better have your ticket ready. There's a slow bus comin' up around the bend"

Simon Woodman said...

Swing Low Sweet Chariot
Coming for to
carry me home

Anonymous said...

And, very topically for London at the moment...

There's probably snow God. So put on your wellies and walk to work.

Anonymous said...

Deus ex machina?
You probably won't find God on the side of a bus.

Preston said...

Take the red pill.
Stay in Wonderland. See how deep the rabbit hole goes.

Anonymous said...

Your wife is probably not cheating on you. Your son is probably not on drugs. You will probably not be laid off due to the economic crisis. Just close your eyes and enjoy the ride!

Anonymous said...

Kant was wrong, this bus will be the object of your demise.

Bob said...

There's probably no probability. So stop enjoying statistics and get a life!

Anonymous said...

My favourite is one on a bus shelter:
There's probably no bus. You'd better start walking

carsten said...

I realize I'm a little late, but:

There are probably no gods. Swans safe for virgins again.

Anonymous said...

Some atheists are probably more spiritual than some religious people

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