Sunday, 22 May 2011

Rapture: news update

Breaking news: Across America yesterday, ferocious packs of sharp-clawed bipedal dinosaurs were seen entering churches, prayer meetings, ladies' baking groups, and other hotbeds of evangelical piety. Many of the country's most outspoken Christian leaders, including Family Radio broadcaster Harold Camping, have been taken by the grisly predators. It is believed that the prehistoric visitors were the result of a small but significant spelling error in the heavenly Diary. According to sources close to heaven's Department of Future Woes, the entry for 21 May reads: "Unleash the raptor on the saints."

The mistake is thought to be the most serious blunder in the heavenly Diary since the mass outbreak of appendicitis in Jerusalem in 1994 – an incident that was later found to be the result of a scribal error in the Diary: "6 September 1994: Now beginneth the Abdomination of Desolation."

8 Comments:

Sam Freney said...

Also this: http://xkcd.com/900/

Paul Tyson said...

Alas, all those philosophy students of mine that told me they were not going to bother about their end of semester research assignments because, you know, May 21 made the work seem just a bit silly, are now going to have to dream up some pretty interesting extension requests!

Paul Tyson said...

Funny you should zone in on spelling mistakes Ben. I tried to tell my post-Christian, mobile phone selling, irrealist PHIL100 students that this crapture timetable was in very poor taste (and would not get them out of writing a decent research paper for me). But, it was quite obvious that, whilst none of them took this (or their research) seriously, they really enjoy craptures – of any flavour –and are happy to take every opportunity for a 'party like there's no tomorrow' weekend. I find something strangely noble about their attitude…

Nick said...

Have we checked that Harold's group haven't been raptured? Maybe we wouldn't have noticed? This plays to all my teenage Christian insecurities when friends were five minutes late meeting me on Town Hall steps for a movie (before the days of mobile phones). "Maybe the rapture's happened and I've been left behind!". Nick Ingram.

Pamela said...

Looks like the rapture met with a rupture. Or maybe the Sydney Morning Herald has it right - "Apocalyse running late"!

in said...

It's like Rear Window (my paraphrase) eat, drink and be merry is soon enough fat, miserable and alcoholic.

Luke said...

The website on the bench in the picture, strangely enough, remains online.

Anonymous said...

Matth 24: 4 Jesus answered: “Watch out that no one deceives you. 5 For many will come in my name, claiming, ‘I am the Messiah,’ and will deceive many. 6 You will hear of wars and rumors of wars, but see to it that you are not alarmed. Such things must happen, but the end is still to come. 7 Nation will rise against nation, and kingdom against kingdom. There will be famines and earthquakes in various places. 8 All these are the beginning of birth pains

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