Sunday, 22 May 2011

Rapture: news update

Breaking news: Across America yesterday, ferocious packs of sharp-clawed bipedal dinosaurs were seen entering churches, prayer meetings, ladies' baking groups, and other hotbeds of evangelical piety. Many of the country's most outspoken Christian leaders, including Family Radio broadcaster Harold Camping, have been taken by the grisly predators. It is believed that the prehistoric visitors were the result of a small but significant spelling error in the heavenly Diary. According to sources close to heaven's Department of Future Woes, the entry for 21 May reads: "Unleash the raptor on the saints."

The mistake is thought to be the most serious blunder in the heavenly Diary since the mass outbreak of appendicitis in Jerusalem in 1994 – an incident that was later found to be the result of a scribal error in the Diary: "6 September 1994: Now beginneth the Abdomination of Desolation."

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