Saturday 4 August 2012

Little tiny doodlings

By Kim Fabricius

“The year without prayer” (Ben Myers).  Is that all?  Wait till he’s my age.

“It ought to be subtitled The Pilgrim Is a Plank.”  Email from someone who doesn’t like my book.  I have to agree with him.

To become a theologian, start with an addiction.

I hope in four years’ time the subterfuge ends: “The Games” are called the McLympics, the symbol becomes five interlocking onion rings, and roving Ronalds garland the winners with small golden arches.

Blessed are the poor in spirit for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn for they will be comforted. Blessed are t 
(The Tweet on the Mount)

Complementarianism: Animal Farm theology.

Whenever I hear a woman defend the man who’s been beating the crap out of her and her children, it reminds me of some theodicists.

“You ask me if He really loves me.  I don’t know.  I can’t say.  
I don’t like it, but I guess things happen that way.”
(From the distinguished theodicy of Johnny Cash)

Bad things happen to good people, good things happen to bad people.  And your point is?  The fearful symmetry of it?

“With God, all things are possible”:  “Shit happens” with spin.

Whenever someone says, “Love the sinner, hate the sin”, I have an immediate involuntary defensive physical reaction: my sphincter tightens.

So the Spirit has spoken to you, quietly, cogently, confirming you in a conviction?  Eliphaz thought so too (Job 4).

So Mariah Carey has been signed to an $18m one-year contract to be a judge on American Idol.  You know, the show that takes its name from the deity of the United States.  The diva, who comes from my home town, is evidently angling to be its consort.

The atom bomb, the cell phone, the cash point: Beware of geeks bearing gifts. 

I await the day when, asked by an earnest TV reporter how “the community” is feeling after some local domestic atrocity, the neighbours say: “Fine, thanks.  In fact, there’s quite a party atmosphere.  We knew Mr. Smith was a psychotic scumbag.”

The difference between a decision and a choice is that with a choice you have one.

Can there be a more sublime vocation than being a chef?

I guess just about every minister has observed the spiritual damage caused by the habit of a toxic hermeneutic.  Detox may require a period of biblical cold turkey, but small doses from George Herbert’s The Temple should ease the withdrawal symptoms and begin to make whole the sick scriptured soul. 

What drives the saints?  A gnawing sense of incapax caritatis.

How can quantum physicists be so goddamn sure about the Uncertainty Principle?

Recent research on IQ testing demonstrates that women are now more intelligent than men.  However, there is also new evidence of increasing female witlessness: women are reading Fifty Shades of Grey in droves.  Which suggests that women are getting smarter north and dumber south.

Hilary Clinton and actress supporters Melanie Griffith and Reese Witherspoon: the blonde leading the blonde – ditchward.

Scientists have discovered that experiences of “awe” give us a boost in “life satisfaction”.  Like Moses after the burning bush, Jeremiah after the Lord touched his lips, the disciples after the transfiguration, or Paul after the Damascus road.

The “Reverend”, from the Latin reverendus, meaning “the one who is to be respected”.  Nearly 30 years after my ordination, the title still cracks me up.  But it could be worse: I could be a priest and called “Father”.

“Grandfather”, however, is fine.  I became one on July 30th.  A girl (7lb, 5oz).  Her name is the Scarlett Grace.  I love it, so biblically oxymoronic.  Though with Barth in mind, I tried to convince her mother to spell it Skarlett.  Unsuccessfully.

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