Monday, 28 March 2011

Doodlings done

by Kim Fabricius

I am currently repenting of propositions. Jesus wrote no propositions, but he once fingered a doodle (John 8:6b). David Tracy suggests that the fragment is the appropriate form for the spiritual in a postmodern world, and Kevin Hart, commenting on the writing of Walter Benjamin and Simone Weil, says: “the fragment is the vehicle of the infinite and the hope of redemption.” I’ll settle for a smile.

What do I think of the Chicago Statement? Misappropriating Derrida’s famous declaration on deconstruction, I would say, “Il n’y a pas de hors-texte.”

My father was an architect who worked in Manhattan. He used to take clients to two-martini lunches and then work into the evening. His practice helps me to make sense of the argument from design.

A thought on chaos theory: the mass extinction of butterflies in Brazil would be an ecological eucatastrophe for people living in tornado zones in Texas.

If Sarah Palin is elected president, on the following Sunday my text will be longer than my sermon, which will also be a text: the former Proverbs 9:13-18, the latter Luke 4:21.

The composition of the Twelve should tell us what Jesus thinks about PhD students.

A blogger recently tried to insult me by remarking that I was a 60+-year-old acting like a truculent teenager. It’s the only time since I turned 50 that I wished I were 10 years older.

The tragic irony of the doctrine of predestination is that it originates in affliction and culminates in torment.

Will Christ come again? Yes – for the third time.

The main disadvantage of ministerial celibacy is that there is no one at home to remind you, at least occasionally, that you are a shit, not God’s gift.

In the archetypal conversion story, the cry is “Once I was blind, but now I see!” Funny, Saul’s experience was just the opposite.

Apart from him being a whole lot smarter than me, Stanley Hauerwas and I are similar in several ways. He loves cats and baseball, and he goes running. And there is another thing that the asshole and I have in common …

Once my synod had an Education Officer. Then the title was changed to Training Officer. I suppose next it will be The Facilitator. Followed by the Terminator.

I am beginning to change my mind about the ethics of assisted suicide. I mean with respect to the church. Except that soon assistance will be superfluous.

Matthew, Luke, and John, after reading Mark, were dissing the second evangelist. One of them sniggered, “He’s a few verses short of a gospel.”

Did you hear about the guy who went to a public lecture on penal substitution thinking that he was going to hear about state-of-the-art cosmetic surgery?

At American football games there is always some guy standing in the crowd holding a large placard with “John 3:16” written on it. The Mets are offering him a summer job at Citi Field – with the scripture “John 11:35”.

If you are a Roman Catholic or a Lutheran and find yourself on trial for being a conscientious objector, take the Fifth – Commandment.

Where would advocates of modern Just War theory be without Adolf Hitler?

The best explanation of John Milbank is that he is a Puritan. Disagree with J. Edgar Hoover and you were a communist. Disagree with John Milbank and you are a nihilist. As Mark Twain said, “To the pure, all things are unpure.”

Theological illiteracy is getting so bad in our churches that soon we will be referring to Jesus as “Whatshisname” and the Trinity as the “Threesome”.

A proposal for the translation of ekklesia: “kindergarten”.

If a lion could talk, I still wouldn’t have him to dinner.

Ben asks, “Why do we close our eyes when praying?” And he is right to object that praying is “not a withdrawal into the silent recesses of the self.” But we also close our eyes when we kiss, when we melt into the silent recesses of the other.

Suggested title for a brief introduction to theology by Ben Myers: A Short Story on Christian Doctrine.

Twelve common abbreviations in Paul’s emails

Salutation: MTFBWU
Praise: ^5!
Advice (modest): WAG
Advice (forthright): IMNSHO
After answering a question: HTH
Impatience: AWGTHTGTTA?
Mocking incomprehension: WTF?
me genoito: NFW
Reference to Judaizers: FUBAR
Response to boasters: BFD
On apostleship: GR&D
Valediction: TAFN

7 Comments:

Pamela said...

Doodlings done, eh! Time for a rest. Thanks for these Kim, entertaining(& educational) as usual.

"O you among the living
Will you remember me at all
Will you write my name out
With a single finger scrawl
Across a broken window
In some long forgotten wall
That goes stretching out forever
Where the tears of heaven fall
I am lost unto this world"
"Lost Unto This World"
Emmylou Harris & Daniel Lanois

Anonymous said...

Here in the UK many men of cloth liked to be called by their first name , 'David', or 'Jim' . Makes one want to tell em to start thinking proper.

Pamela said...

Anonymous:
Most people like to be called by their first name. You can say the right words, you can write the right words, but your actions give you away every time.

besideourselves said...

The best interpretation of 'a helper suitable' I've heard for a long time.

I'll remember to thank my wife today for that unappreciated ministry...

dbhamill said...

Thanks for the Saul's conversion comment. It'll do for Sunday's lectionary. Also sounds like you'll finish on time the Sunday Sarah Pailin gets elected.

Anonymous said...

Palin? What did you preach when Obama won the Nobel Prize? Peace peace when there is no peace.

kim fabricius said...

Excellent, Anonymous #2!

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