Thursday, 10 June 2010

The Bible for Smartasses

by Kim Fabricius

Genesis: A Good Start?
Exodus: Free at Last?
Leviticus: Filthy!
Numbers: Old (Jewish) Wives Tales
Deuteronomy: The Same Old Same Old
Joshua: America: The Prequel
Judges: The Genealogy of Judy
Ruth: Pretty Woman
I and II Samuel: No, Prime Minister!
I and II Kings / I and II Chronicles: No, No, A Thousand Times No, Prime Minister!
Ezra and Nehemiah: Mending Wall
Esther: The Bitch
Job: The Three Douchebags
The Psalms: Mood Music
Proverbs: On Not Being Mark Twain or Oscar Wilde
Ecclesiastes: Angst Made Easy
Song of Songs: Hot!
Isaiah: The (Thrice) Split Personality
Jeremiah: The Whistleblower
Lamentations: The Crybaby
Ezekiel: The Electric Kool-Aid Kid
Daniel: The Empire Strikes Out
Hosea: My Girl
Joel: Shitstorm
Amos: It’s the Economy, Stupid!
Obadiah: Edom Cheese
Jonah: Don’t Call Me Ishmael!
Micah: The Requirements
Nahum: Contra Jonah
Habakkuk: Mr. KKK
Zephaniah: Shitstorm: The Sequel
Haggai: If You Build It
Zechariah: He Will Come
Malachi: Fast Train Coming

Mark: The Badass
Matthew: The Schlemiel Returns
Luke: Mr. Nice Guy
John: Wine, Women, and Long-Winded Speeches
Acts: The Boys Are Back in Town
Romans: Theology for Smartasses
I and II Corinthians: The Guide to Crap Churches
Galatians: On Pricks
Ephesians and Colossians: Globalisation and Its Contents
Philippians: Who Loves Yah, Baby?
I Thessalonians: Rupture Ready?
II Thessalonians: On Mr. Naughty and Mr. Lazy Bastard
I and II Timothy and Titus: Sheep Droppings
Philemon: A Wretch Like Him
Hebrews: The High Priest of Soul
James: The Gospel According to Kotsko
I and II Peter: Scatterings
I, II, and III John: All You Need Is Love (and Excommunication)
Jude: Postcard from the Edge
Revelation: The Lamb That Roared

12 Comments:

Matthew Moffitt said...

I and II Thessalonians?

kim fabricius said...

Thanks, hawkeye! Omissions now made good. Or bad.

Adam Kotsko said...

Glad to see that everyone acknowledges my ownership of James.

No Apocrypha?

Jon Coutts said...

Well done! Just when it might have become tiresome you took it to the next level with Galatians.

cynthia r. nielsen said...

Love it, just love it, Kim.

Gail Dawson said...

Oh, how I wish this blog had a favorites button! Loved it.

Scott said...

What is a Kotsko??

wackywilliams said...

I knew that one day there would be traslation for me!!!

wjholland said...

I graduated from the Angelicum, I have never roared with laughter as I did with the Home Page guide to the New Testament with Homer Simpson: thank you. A most glorious thank you.
Peace.
wjholland.wordpress.com

pilgrimpathways said...

I'm gonna post this on our church bulletin board.

Pstyle said...

Excellent. that saved me some time.

Can you do the complete works of Shakespear also?

Anonymous said...

Acts: "Indiana Jones gets religion"

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