Thursday, 10 June 2010

The Bible for Smartasses

by Kim Fabricius

Genesis: A Good Start?
Exodus: Free at Last?
Leviticus: Filthy!
Numbers: Old (Jewish) Wives Tales
Deuteronomy: The Same Old Same Old
Joshua: America: The Prequel
Judges: The Genealogy of Judy
Ruth: Pretty Woman
I and II Samuel: No, Prime Minister!
I and II Kings / I and II Chronicles: No, No, A Thousand Times No, Prime Minister!
Ezra and Nehemiah: Mending Wall
Esther: The Bitch
Job: The Three Douchebags
The Psalms: Mood Music
Proverbs: On Not Being Mark Twain or Oscar Wilde
Ecclesiastes: Angst Made Easy
Song of Songs: Hot!
Isaiah: The (Thrice) Split Personality
Jeremiah: The Whistleblower
Lamentations: The Crybaby
Ezekiel: The Electric Kool-Aid Kid
Daniel: The Empire Strikes Out
Hosea: My Girl
Joel: Shitstorm
Amos: It’s the Economy, Stupid!
Obadiah: Edom Cheese
Jonah: Don’t Call Me Ishmael!
Micah: The Requirements
Nahum: Contra Jonah
Habakkuk: Mr. KKK
Zephaniah: Shitstorm: The Sequel
Haggai: If You Build It
Zechariah: He Will Come
Malachi: Fast Train Coming

Mark: The Badass
Matthew: The Schlemiel Returns
Luke: Mr. Nice Guy
John: Wine, Women, and Long-Winded Speeches
Acts: The Boys Are Back in Town
Romans: Theology for Smartasses
I and II Corinthians: The Guide to Crap Churches
Galatians: On Pricks
Ephesians and Colossians: Globalisation and Its Contents
Philippians: Who Loves Yah, Baby?
I Thessalonians: Rupture Ready?
II Thessalonians: On Mr. Naughty and Mr. Lazy Bastard
I and II Timothy and Titus: Sheep Droppings
Philemon: A Wretch Like Him
Hebrews: The High Priest of Soul
James: The Gospel According to Kotsko
I and II Peter: Scatterings
I, II, and III John: All You Need Is Love (and Excommunication)
Jude: Postcard from the Edge
Revelation: The Lamb That Roared


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