Monday, 28 February 2011

Doodlings

by Kim Fabricius

Experience has taught me that prayer is often a way to be narcissistic with both a good conscience and public approval.

Koan: a minister who has no time for theology.

There are Christians who reject universalism not because it is unbiblical but because, were it true, it would disappoint them.

Gehenna eternal hellfire? What a load of rubbish!

“What would Jesus do?” He’d say that’s a dumb question.

Show me a happy Christian mourner and I’ll show you a Christian who reads a crappy translation of the Beatitudes.

Before Constantine the blood of the martyrs was the seed of the church; after Constantine the seed of the martyrs was the blood of the church.

It is urgent that the sacraments and church order remain atop the ecumenical agenda; killing each other, however, may remain AOB.

What Christians who repeat the mantra that they “hate the sin but love the sinner” really mean is that they hate the sinner but love the sin.

Logos asarkos: Cheshire Cat Christology.

Arminianism: standing on the plate and thinking you’ve hit a homerun.

Christian Zionism: Philosemitic anti-Semitism.

If the eucharist makes the church, perhaps we need a different vintage.

A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush – except at Horeb.

Is theology the queen of the sciences? Only if it’s queer.

Of course Oscar Romero should be canonised. It’s a post-mortem miracle that he hasn’t been anathematised.

Why do I believe in God? Why do I love my children?

If a politician talked sense, we would not understand him.

Discombobulate a good preacher: compliment him.

Advice to a young minister: learn to yes without bitterness and no without guilt.

If your faith doesn’t make you both kinder and angrier, you’ve lost it.

What is the opposite of love? Some say hate. Some say indifference. Some say fear. Love does not have an opposite. What is the opposite of God?

Prosperity Gospel Jesus: “I am the Alpha and the Romeo.”

Young people want to be “famous”. Instead of vocation, an adjective.

Chimpanzees can learn sign language; humans can study theology.

7 Comments:

dbhamill said...

Thanks Kim, I enjoyed these very much. I do think, though that you are too hard on the WWJD question and if love has an opposite the best candidate is violence.

Ryan said...

Lol

Mike Crowl said...

Wonderful bunch of statements, full of wry humour. I've already pinched one of them (number 3) for one of my blogs, and am keeping a note of the rest for future use. The one on universalism came at a serendipitous time: Rob Bell is about to publish a book on Heaven and Hell, and is already talking 'universalism' in a video promo without actually using the word...and of course upsetting all and sundry.

Steve Martin said...

Are preachers who are universalists just hanging around for the paycheck?

kylejacobritter said...

@Steve Martin

I think preachers who are universalists have read Barth's commentary on Romans, and the paycheck is just an added bonus.

John Hartley said...

Praying for people's conversion is sometimes an excuse for not doing evangelism.

spiritualmeanderings said...

Fantastic stuff here - I love it!

Thanks for posting these. :)

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