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Tuesday, 3 June 2008

Hell's most wanted

In a memorable scene in The Empire Strikes Back, Princess Leia tells Han Solo: “Why, you stuck up, half-witted, scruffy-looking nerf-herder!” To which he replies: “Who’s scruffy-looking?” Similarly, when the Day of Judgment arrives, at least I’ll be able to say: “Hey, who’s a sports fan?”

H/T Mrs Thinky


Matt Brown said...

Wouldn't the lesbians be covered under the "homosexuals" designation?

Anonymous said...

Damn you evolutionists!

j. k. said...

Pity they didn't add one last thing to the list: 'Religious assholes who hate everybody'.

IndieFaith said...

Yah the sports fan was a surprising addition. Who says progress isn't possible!

Anonymous said...

A psychic arrives at the pearly gates, only to be informed by St. Peter: "Sorry, you can't enter here. You're on hell's most wanted list."

"Damn!" says the psychic. "I knew something like this was going to happen."

Shane said...

If gambling on sports events while masturbating to Darwin is wrong, hey I don't want to be right.

steve martin said...

They forgot, "judges of others"...

thank you Lord that I am not like these...

Anonymous said...

They forgot nose-pickers, whistlers and the cast of 'Who's the Boss.'

kim fabricius said...


jimbo said...

In all seriousness, I would agree with the sign if it said "Heaven's" instead of "Hell's".

Luke 19:10

Jerry Magdalene said...

Wheww! I am glad it is pot smokers, not cocaine snorters who made hell's most wanted list. There's still a shot at heaven after all. Snort...

John Hartley said...

I'm gambling on the God of love,
I'm drunk with Spirit from above,
I've stolen righteousness from Christ,
I've claimed the pearl most highly priced,
I love this sport: "Go tell the sinners
Jesus makes the losers winners."
Spellbound by the king of kings,
I share with children all these things,
and yet, I'm such a hypocrite:
for I am just a tiny bit
of what God plans for such as me.
I beg you, treat me patiently!

And Satan loves to capture those
in whom the love of Jesus shows.

Yours in Christ - JOHN HARTLEY.

Pastor Bob Cornwall said...

I won't admit all of my damning sins, but I will admit to being a sports fan. And surely I'm in good company! Finally, a sin that's respectable.

Doug Hagler said...

Haven't "whoremongers" been known as pimps for a couple hundred years now? Somebody should update this sign.

Lilith said...

Matt Brown: Wouldn't the lesbians be covered under the "homosexuals" designation?

Yes, but we don't fall under the abomination clause, but the "substituting the unnatural for the natural" clause, which also covers men with long hair (1 Cor 11:14 "Doth not even nature itself teach you, that, if a man have long hair, it is a shame unto him?")

Psychic jesse said...

Hmm, So having long hair is unnatural? but didn't a woman give her son over to god and said, no razor will ever touch his head, and so long as he had his hair god gave him super strength, and he ripped a tiger in half? Oh by the way Over the phone psychics aren't psychic, tarot cards and Ouija boards are dark magic, actual psychics don't use that trash, they simply by the grace of god see what others cannot. When I use my abilities I get a certain feeling, the only place I get that feeling without using them is in a church.... real evil huh? *note sarcasm, glad it's not on the list*

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