Caption contest: Bob Dylan and the Pope
Thanks to the kind folks at Cascade Books, I now have a couple of giveaway copies of Nate Kerr’s new book. So it’s time for another caption contest – here’s a photo of Bob Dylan’s performance for Pope John Paul II in Bologna, 1997:
The best two captions will win a free copy of Nate’s wonderful book, Christ, History and Apocalyptic: The Politics of Christian Mission.
Pope John Paul II thinks: "Look at that hat and outfit! He gets to wear whatever he wants I'll bet!"
-Ann
Dylan: "Damn, Paps is gonna love that I brought out the Les Paul II for my revised version of 'She Belongs to Me'..."
Dylan: ‘Might like to wear cotton, might like to wear silk, but you're gonna have to serve somebody. Well, it may be the devil or it may be the Lord, but you're gonna have to serve somebody. ...’
Dylan: Now for a special surprise guest performer. JP! Harmonica solo time!
Pope thinks: "Whoopi Goldberg would have looked great in that part."
Dylan thinks: "Whoopi Goldberg would have looked great in that part too!"
Odi et amo, quare id facere forasse requiris...Nescio, sed fieri sentio et excrucior (I hated and I love, perhaps you ask why I do it...I don't know, but I feel it and I'm tortured.)
thanks, i am praying for that book, blessings, Daniel
Pope: "I know I've heard that this guy is one of those born again types but that is the strangest glossolalia I've ever heard"
The Pope, bored out of his mind, thinks to himself, "Next time I see him coming I better run..."
The Pope: God this guy SUCKS! Please, dear Lord, if you're there, make him stop!!!!
Dylan to pondering Pope, "The answer my friend, is blowin' in the wind, the answer is blowin' in the wind . . ." Pondering Pope to self, "I'm sleepy, and there's some place I need to be going to . . ."
OK. They gambled for my clothes—Psalm 22. Got it. But who is this woman with the silver bracelets and the flower in her hair?
the Pope's 115th Dream
"Thank you, Lord", says Dylan for the gig; says Pope for end of gig...
Pope thinks....OH MY GAWD!
Dylan: "The times, they are a-changin'."
Pope: "Not so fast..."
*The pope obviously not enjoying Bob Dylan's performance recalls that...*
"It is requisite for the relaxation of the mind that we make use, from time to time, of playful deeds and jokes."
*smiles*
Pope John Paul II gnaws on his hand in an attempt to stay awake during a recent concert given by Bob Dylan.
They asked me my name
And I said, "Captain Kidd"
They believed me but
They wanted to know
What exactly that I did
I said for the Pope of Eruke
I was employed
They let me go right away
They were very paranoid.
Dylan: God it would be scary if his grumpy assistant, Joseph, who doesn't like my music, became Pope...
Dylan: "So this is what knocking on heaven's door really feels like."
After paying hundreds of dollars for front-row seats, the Pope was dismayed when Dylan began performing with his back to the audience.
Bob failed to get the Pope's pre-concert memo: "Dear Bob, please play it f@cking loud!"
JPII: "You know, it's not even safe no more
In the palace of the Pope..."
A traditionalist, angered by Dylan going electric, mutters "Judas!" beneath his breath, and sucks his thumb in protest.
The Pope ponders, "I didn't know Colonel Sanders played the guitar and sang . . . and where's his white suit, I thought he wore white (he must be in sin). Well if he gives me a bucket of chicken, I'll continue to listen to his confession . . ."
Pope thinks to himself: "That Mayhem show in Rome last night was amazing. I wonder if this guy plays any black metal."
JPII: "Ratzinger's going to kill me..."
"Tapping his feet to the folksy protest music, the holy father thinks back longly on his Solidarity days."
I guess we finally know what did the good pope in...
Sorry for the misspelling... here you go:
"Tapping his feet to the folksy protest music, the holy father thinks back longingly on his Solidarity days."
JPII: "Damn Protestants. Damn ecumenism... Where is Ratzinger anyway?"
JKnott's is very clever, but I must cast my vote for David L and his channeling of Marx...
JPII thinks to himself: "One! One road! A man only has to walk down one road before he becomes a man! -- And that is the road of the one, holy, catholic and apostolic church! Hasn't this guy read Pere de Lubac?!"
(I assumed since Ben participated that means I had permission to participate as well!)
"There must be some kind of way out of here,"
Said the Pontiff to the Priest.
"Face the congregation!! Don't these guys know I'm pre-Vatican II!"
-Adrian Langdon
"You can't understand a damn word I'M saying? Have you heard yourself up there?"
One more....
It may look boring here, but let's just say that when the dust settled and the after party wrapped up the next morning, somehow JP went home in the cowboy hat and Dylan was wearing the fancy dress.
Upon noticing what the Holy Father was wearing, Dylan decided to cross "Just Like a Woman" off of his set list.
The Pope says, "Get out of here,
I'll tear you limb from limb."
I said, "You know they refused Jesus too,"
He said, "You're not Him."
The Pope and Bob Dylan both seem annoyed by the request for "Free Bird."
dylan : times they are changing...
jp ii to himself..
thanks god,ratzi is just visiting his brother and the regensburger domspatzen
kurt usar
md
graz,austria
At a special performance of Bob Dylan, cardinals restrained their rhythmic gyrations only to find Pope John Paul II slapping his knee, taping his foot, and bobbing his head. The following day the Pope took initial steps filing the necessary paperwork insuring Dylan's future candidacy for the sainthood.
"Unfortunately, the moment Dylan's set reached its most intimate, JP II decided to try out that George Bush Sr. impression he had been working on."
Caption:
It may be the devil
or it may be the Lord
But you gotta serve somebody
With Black Eye Peas' My Humps playing on the stage...
Pope: "What you gonna do with all that ass? All that ass inside them jeans?"
Dylan: "You can look but you can't touch it. If you touch it I'm gonna start some drama, you don't want no drama, no, no drama, no, no, no, no drama."
"Bloody Bono"
or
"Gee my nuts are itchy!"
The Teen Choice Awards committee reevaluated their marketing strategy that night.
"Is this English?"
-- Pope.
"And a big Texan welcome to Pastor Bob's Gospel Hour, now...and if that choirboy in white thinks I can't see him picking his nose he's very, very wrong....now, let's all join together in He's Got the Whole Wide World in His Hands."
dylan, unaware that the guest of honor in the white dress was a male, dedicated and then played his most heartful rendition of lay, lady, lay...
"The Man asked to hear a hymn," he said, "but now I can't remember how."
"Guess this holy-herb's too strong", he cried, with furrowed-brow and scowl.
The pope had just asked his PR adviser "Is that Springsteen or Bono? Either way he looks old and sounds stoned."
or
The new series 'Vatican Idol' kicked off with a bang last night as judge JPII appeared bored during Bob Dylan's performance. The pope quipped that the folk legend simply lacked the triple threat that the Vatican was looking for; singing, dancing, and acting. Dylan was eliminated and Beyonce later advanced after a glowing endorsement from JPII.
Stuck inside of the Vatican, with the papal blues again . . .
should have read: 'Stuck inside of Bologna, with the papal blues again . . .' (mea culpa!)
JP II thinks, " I bet you Simon and Randy will tear this loser a new one. Then, I will be the next American Idol.
Pope "this is such a nice reception for Stanley and John. I wonder how they booked Dylan?"
JPII: How many times is he going to revisit that bloody highway? His holiness has a bedtime.
Ratzinger to JPII: "Judas!"
JPII to Ratzinger: "I don't belieeeeeve you. You're a liar."
JPII to Dylan: "Play f*cking loud!"
Dylan (howling): "Once upon a time you dressed so fine..."
Having become John Paul II for an hour, Bob Dylan realizes what a drag it is to see himself. "Frankly, I'm pretty depressed," Dylan commented. "Why didn't someone tell me I sound like that?"
In an unprecedented move, the Roman Catholic Church, in attempt to keep pace with the cultural accommodation of mainline Protestantism has asked none other than 'born again' Christian Bob Dylan to celebrate the Mass.
Zack reporting from atl,ga
JPII: "When the Council issued Gaudium et spes and called us to further our engagement with the modern world by "scrutinizing the signs of the times," I never dreamed it would involve the enduring of such immense suffering!"
Finding himself suddenly suffering from ennui brought on by Dylan's indecipherable rambling, the pope's mind drifts slowly toward charbroiled kielbasa.
"The Pope was visibly disturbed on Friday, as it became clear legend Bob Dylan would not honour his request to play the Jimi Hendrix version of 'All Along the Watchtower'. The Holy Father, who planned on turning his cincture into a bandana and incensing during the performance, later commented that Dylan's slight would not bode well for Bob's prayers that his son's career wouldn't destroy Dylan's legacy."
as the scrawny cowboy sang another song the Pope sat and silently wondered...
"When the hell will Axl and the guys finally finish Chinese Democracy?"
"Here comes the church commissioner,
Bob's got him in a trance,
One hand is tied to his cheekbone,
The other's in his pants"
(or close to it anyway...)
"This guy's not Bon Jovi..."
50 (OR SO) CAPTIONS (ONLY): ALL DYLAN’S SONG TITLES
1. Bob: ‘This Old Man’.
Pope: ‘Clean-Cut Kid’
2. Pope: ‘What Can I Do For You?’
Bob: ‘Don’t Fall Apart On Me Tonight’
3. Bob: ‘Endless Highway’
Pope: ‘Eternal Circle’
4. Bob: ‘I’ll Be Your Baby Tonight’
Pope: ‘Do Right To Me Baby (Do Unto Others)’
5. Bob: ‘You’re Gonna Quit Me’
Pope: ‘Going, Going, Gone’
6. Bob: ‘Man of Peace’
Pope: ‘Jokerman’
7. Bob: ‘Had A Dream About You, Baby ‘
Pope: ‘I Dreamed I Saw St. Augustine’
8. Bob: ‘Blowin’ in the Wind’
Pope: ‘Idiot Wind’
9. Bob: ‘Dignity’
Pope: ‘Dirge’
10. Bob: ‘Lay, Lady, Lay’
Pope: ‘Lay Down Your Weary Tune’
11. Bob: ‘Tryin’ To Get To Heaven’
Pope: ‘Up To Me’
12. Bob ‘When You Gonna Wake Up?’
Pope: ‘When He Returns’
13. Bob: ‘Take A Message To Mary’
Pope: ‘Absolutely Sweet Marie’
Bob: ‘If You See Her, Say Hello’
14. Bob: ‘Sittin’ On Top Of The World’
Pope: ‘Baby Let Me Follow You Down’
15. Bob: ‘Sign On The Window’
Pope: ‘Sign On The Cross’
16. Bob: ‘Where Are You Tonight?’
Pope: ‘Driftin’ Too Far From Shore’
17. Bob: ‘Trust Yourself’
Pope: ‘The Times They Are A-Changin’’
18. Bob: ‘With God On Our Side’
Pope: ‘I Shall Be Released’
19. Pope: ‘Step It Up And Go’
Bob: ‘If You’ve Got To Go, Go Now’
20. Bob: ‘Tonight I’ll Be Staying Here With You’
Pope: ‘Tell Me That It Isn’t True’
21. Bob: ‘I’ll Be Your Lover Tonight’
Pope: ‘Motorpsycho Nightmare’
22. Bob: ‘Never Say Goodbye’
Pope: ‘Farewell’
23. Bob: ‘Gospel Plow’
Pope: ‘Gotta Serve Somebody’
24. Pope: ‘Man Of Constant Sorrow’
Bob: ‘Ugliest Girl In The World’
25. Bob: ‘Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door’
Pope: ‘Ring Them Bells’
26. Pope: ‘Knockin’ On Heaven’s Door’
Bob: ‘Open The Door, Homer’
27. Bob: ‘Saved’
Pope: ‘I Don’t Believe You’
28. Pope: ‘House Carpenter’
Bob: ‘I Pity That Poor Immigrant’
29. Bob: ‘Seeing The Real You At Last’
Pope: ‘Seeing The Real You At Last’
30. Bob: ‘When Did You Leave Heaven?’
Pope: ‘When I Got Troubles’
31. Pope: ‘Most Likely You Go Your Way (And I’ll Go Mine)’
Bob: ‘You Ain’t Goin’ Nowhere’
32. Bob: ‘He Was A Friend Of Mine’
Pope: ‘Let’s Keep It Between Us’
33. Pope: ‘Can’t Wait’
Bob: ‘The Groom’s Still Waiting At The Altar’
34. Bob: ‘Gates of Eden’
Pope: ‘Man Gave Names To All The Animals’
35. Bob: ‘You’re Gonna Make Me Lonesome When You Go’
Pope: ‘I Shall Be Free’
36. Bob: ‘To Be Alone With You’
Pope: ‘Dead Man, Dead Man’
37. Bob: ‘What Good Am I?’
Pope: ‘You’re No Good’
38. Bob: ‘All I Really Want To Do’
Pope: ‘If Not For You’
39. Bob: ‘Need A Woman’
Pope: ‘The Man In Me’
40. Bob: ‘(He’s the) Property of Jesus’
Pope: ‘Handy Dandy’
41. Bob: ‘I Am A Lonesome Hobo’
Pope: ‘It Hurts Me Too’
42. Bob: ‘Covenant Woman’
Pope: ‘She Belongs To Me’
43. Bob: ‘Seven Days’
Pope: ‘Seven Curses’
44. Bob: ‘Only A Hobo’
Pope: ‘Only A Pawn In Their Game’
45. Bob: ‘Yea! Heavy And A Bottle Of Bread’
Pope: ‘We Better Talk This Over’
46. Bob: ‘On A Night Like This’
Pope: ‘No Time To Think’
47. Bob: ‘Man In The Long Black Coat’
Pope: ‘Tweedle Dee & Tweedle Dum’
48. Bob: ‘Neighbourhood Bully’
Pope: ‘It Ain’t Me, Babe’
49. Bob: ‘Let’s Stick Together’
Pope: ‘God Knows’
50. Bob: ‘They Killed Him’
Pope: ‘Death Is Not the End’
Hope at least one wins!
JPII: "Man, Johnny Cash has really lost his edge."
Pope John Paul II disappointedly realizes he misunderstood his guest's connection to Peter, Paul, and Mary.
Dylan: The man in the coonskin cap in the pigpen want's 11 dollar bills but you only got 10.
Pope: What?!?
Dylan: The pump don't work because the vandals took the handle.
Pope: Oh, this is boring.
JP2 (during "Desolation Row"): "I guess that leaves me 'expecting rain'"
"Bob Dylan, angering the Pope and the Vatican on Thursday, sported a traditional papal hat reserved for special occasions and not worn by a pope since the 18th century.
Bob Dylan, seeming a little confused with the Vatican's reaction, commented, 'In ceremonies of the horsemen, even the pawn must hold a grudge.'"
Der Papst: "Mein Gott! Protestantische Kunst . . ."
JPII thinks: Man, that's a great look! I wonder if it's too late for a career change.
POPE: I gotta agree with the Hippies, his Christian music sucks...
Pope thinks to himself: Is this nasaly cowboy really gonna rip me off from the title of 'American Idol'?
The pope was so surprised last night that Archbishop Bartholomew played electric and used the word "Filioque" in his new song that he had to bite his hand to keep from passing out.
My right hand doesn't know what my left hand is doing!
one more try in this contest of the century
breaking news from the vatican :
the fact that the former pontiff did visibly shake to the noise, emanating from bob dylans guitar, turns out to be the greatest obstacle to his speedy beatification.
the proponents of the "santo subito" movement continue protesting, that this is in no way a hint of devilish influences, but that the pope already suffered from parkinsons disease at the time and, to the contrary, his calm demeanour during this gruesome torture
is paramount to martyrdom and should further their cause decisively.
kurt usar
md
graz,austria
Jesus, if you’re coming again on this side of the millennium please arrive now!
(In cartoon thought bubble above the Pontiff's head)
I haven't heard a pedal steel since Nashville in '68.
I wonder what Cabernet will be served with dinner?
"Sadly, JPII wasn't amused by Dylan starting to play the famous wedding procession 'Canon in D'"
I think Anui definitely deserves a prize!
JP: 'Vatican II or not, I bloody well hate these folk masses.'
The Pope tried to maintain his composure as he realised that, not only had he almost certainly lost the 'white hat competition', but that Dylan really was using his electric guitar as a phallic symbol.
Waking from his afternoon reverie, his Holiness wonders, Is this purgatory or could I actually be in hell?
Pope: "Say, geez I hope I look that good, if I get to be that old..."
"Crucify.Me.Now."
I Got A Spleen In Muh Splintered Bawd , I Like To Thank God All I Gott is a : Hat !
His holiness and the Pope
BoB: What's a nice guy like you doing in a place like this! Pope: Any day now, any day now, I will be released!
pope thinks......and so I...I of all people...get to see his back...
"Now that he's performing my favorite song, I should take on a pensive expression, as befits a Pontiff in the first place"
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