Atheist bus signs: a caption contest
Over in the UK, the atheist bus campaign has been attracting a lot of media interest. Some Christian groups have chimed in with their own (predictably humourless) rival ads, and there have been various theological responses as well.
So anyway, I reckon it’s time to settle this dispute once and for all – and what better way to resolve age-old metaphysical questions than with a caption contest? I’ll send a free book to the person who invents the best bus sign. (You get bonus points if your sign persuades someone to change their deepest beliefs.)
There may or may not be a God, but if you don't stop reading this sign and watch where you're driving, you'll find out soon enough.
You can take this a step further and visualise it with this cool online "bus quote" generator.
Which, having looked closer at your post I assume you've already discovered.
John Milbank's latest attempt to prove he is smarter than everyone else.
THERE'S PROBABLY NO GOD
But what the fuck would I know? I'm only a bus.
Relax! God loves a smiling atheist.
This one may be a bit lost on british audience, but could throw a cat among pigeons.
Jesus says: Take a London bus. You'll never be LEFT BEHIND.
God exits.
And if he doesn't, we kick him off like everyone else.
Here's my attempt:
http://baptistbookworm.blogspot.com/2009/02/atheist-bus.html
There's probably no driver.
Now stop worrying and enjoy the ride
The bus thought, 'one day they'll let me dress myself.'
Saying there is no God...Is like saying a tornado built this bus while ripping through a junkyard.
There's probably no dog. So stop complaining, and enjoy your taco.
There's probably no Dawkins.
But please don't stop buying his books.
There's probably no good reason why atheists who use the word probably shouldn't call themselves agnostics.
Idiocy #1:
"THERE'S PROBABLY NO GOD"
As if, pace Dawkins, the question were an empirical one, to be decided by the accumulation of evidence!
Idiocy #2:
"NOW STOP WORRYING AND ENJOY YOUR LIFE."
Can you imagine a serious atheist saying such a facile feel-good inanity? In rebellion Ivan Karamazov says that he will return God his ticket, while these jerks are buying ringside seats and cotton candy.
Idiocy #3
And then the Christian counter "SO JOIN THE CHRISTIAN PARTY AND ENJOY LIFE." Talk about Dumb and Dumber!
My atheist add:
"DAWKINS IS A WUSS: THERE'S DEFINITELY NO GOD"
My Christian add:
"THANK GOD FOR ATHEISTS"
There is no God and so:
Our inheritance is turned over to strangers and foreigners occupy our homes.
Capitalism: We've got you whether you belive in us or not.
admittedly distasteful:
"I don't know if there's a God, but if this bus blows up, we'll find out who was right..."
Ben, you may have seen my bus signs in another place - I spent rather too much time the other day having fun with the bus sign generator!
There's probably no room.
But stop worrying, another bus will be along in a mo.
There's probably no hod.
So stop building and have a tea break.
One for the sci-fi afficionado:
There's probably no Ood.
So calm down, it's just Doctor Who.
One that may not make much sense outside UK:
There's probably no Gok.
Now stop asking whether your bum looks big in this.
Probably? No. There's God.
Now stop worrying and enjoy new life.
There's definitely no power
that can separate us from the love of God.
I bet there is no sex in heaven.
Heaven could be hell - Hell could be heaven.
Guess what? They're all wrong.
Due to snow, there's probably no bus.
Act of God? That would be ironic.
"The fool has said in his heart, 'there is no bus' . . ."
Medical advice bus ad:
That's really bad cough
now stop being a martyr
and take your Benylin
60's youth culture bus ad:
There's probably no Mods
Now stop looking worried
and drive your Harley with impunity.
Mother to teenage son bus ad:
You're probably not a slob (yeah right)
Now stop making excuses
and enjoy tidying your room.
There is no God. Disagree? Step in front of this bus and prove me wrong.
Can't resist joining in the fun:
It's all an illusion
This bus probably doesn't exist
Blame The Matrix
and
You are a figment of God's imagination
How cool is that
probably
Atheists are like buses...
You wait around for one for ages...
And then they all arrive at once...
"Why did Jesus cross the road?
To get you to the other side."
Does a bus have Buddha nature?
"Tritheism: You wait ages for a God, then three show up at once!"
Something of a riff on Jon's, I'm afraid!
I don't know if there's a God. But if I believe hard enough, maybe you'll get a prize.
Prepare to burn in HELL atheists! Repent now or die!
Not sure if the liberals would allow this one to fly under "religious freedom." Oppressive bastards don't know that God hates liberals too.
I don't know if I'm an idiot, but don't worry since i'm enjoying myself.
In line with C.S. Lewis' account in "The Great Divorce":
"Maybe with some Luck you might get in one of my seats and I will take you to Heaven!"
I hope that I understand the contest:
I don't know if there's a God but I'm still a good Catholic
I don't know if there's a God and I'm not really sure about the moon landing
I don't know if there's a God but I might not have hit rock bottom just yet
I don't know if there's a God but when someone asks you if you're a god, you say "Yes"
I don't know if there's a God and there just isn't a slow, slow train comin' up around the bend
I don't know if there's a God but that Richard Williamson guy seems to make a lot of sense*
Neil
Sorry, somewhat distasteful for a bus.
On a Canaanite bus, ca. 1500 B.C.:
"Just watch a sunset and tell me that there's not a Baal."
There's probably no life
unless you stop worrying
and enjoy your God
Does God care what is on a bus?
But if God does, I think we may all wish otherwise.
-Ann
No God? I don't know, the Spice Girls broke up!
____ Happens! And at least determinists have someone to blame it on!
Mister boojah boojah says: relax no one is in charge.
"I don't know if there is a God, but I sure do have one hell of a wife!"
By the way, for Tom Waits fans out there, if you type in "Tom Waits God" at YouTube you can catch his humorous thoughts on this subject.
Another Tom Waits one:
There's probably no devil.
That's just God when he's drunk.
I cast a vote for Bruce Hamill's fantastic "Relax! God loves a smiling atheist."
'There is probably no such a thing as a bus.'
I made an attempt on my own blog before I heard of this, but I'd be remiss if I didn't post a link: There's Probably No Point To This, So Stop Fighting And Enjoy the Humor
What if God was one of us?
Just a stranger right about here ^
Is there a God?
Jesus Christ, what a question!
Eric P: does an agnostic ever really worry that there might be a God? I don't think so. Eg: "there can't be a God but I can't prove it"
Theists and Atheists are untruthful, Agnostics are truthful. Where's the evidence?
I live in Adelaide so: What Bus??!
To long for the contest, but they should probably have a creed to go along with it, something like:
I believe in the non-gender specific deity of my choosing;
the Great Acquaintance,
likely and probable creator of all that I have seen
and may one day see.
I believe in myself, the one who engenders all that is,
and ever will be with regards to the Great Acquaintance.
Who was conceived by the power of my Sub-conscience
and born of my Conscience.
Who suffered under the scrutiny of this world.
I believe in the power of Science,
the American Medical Association,
the communion of scientists,
the progress of choice,
the resuscitation of my body,
and the perpetuation of my life.
Amen.
There's probably no God, but there's definitely an economy. So stop worrying and buy something.
Steph-- I've never been an agnostic in any theological sense worth mentioning, but I can't imagine being one without wanting to leave no cosmic stone unturned until I knew the answer one way or the other. Perhaps that's just my personality though.
Anyway, my post is more for grins than for serious philosophical statements. I poke fun of my own beliefs on at least one sign. :-)
If you are having doubts about whether or not God exists, ask Him.
Is there a God? Is there a bus driver? Enjoy the ride.
God knows : Who is John Galt?
Only Jesus can get you to your destination.
In case of rapture, this bus will not be unmanned.
Eric P.
As a happy agnostic I can affirm that I don't stress over things I can't prove and just accept there 'isn't' a God. Why believe what I can't prove. I want evidence but that's just my personality. I'm not an atheist because I'm not interested in philosophical arguments about something for which there is no evidence either for or against. I'm more interested in investigating things for which there is more evidence - like the history of religion.
Because:
Theists and Atheists are untruthful, Agnostics are truthful. Who knows?
Agnostics don't worry - atheists and theists worry in case they are wrong.
There's probably no spoon.
Now stop worrying and enjoy the matrix.
Well, given your recent visit to Vancouver, here's one that reflects the culture out here:
"There's probably no God
But if you don't recycle She will crush you like a bug."
thankfully, God has not said in his heart 'there is no fool'
http://simplemassingpriest.blogspot.com/2009/02/tis-ill-wind-that-blows-no-good.html
Bus signs got us talking about God.
Those atheists. God bless them.
That's a big "IF"!
IF GOD WERE AS BORING AS RICHARD DAWKINS ASSUMES, I WOULDN'T BELIEVE IN HIM EITHER.
"Doubt: It happens in Gardens and in Free Societies. Thank God."
If you think a bus sign is going to make me think about religion, pigs can fly.
There's probably no God.
But when did improbability ever get in God's way?
What do a bus and God have in common? They both take atheists for a ride.
And God responded, 'There's probably no atheists, either.' Rom 1:19
Not my own, I'm afraid - but one that is doing the rounds online:
"There's probably no cod. Now stop complaining, and eat your sardines."
Here's my submission:
http://teabagsinfusion.blogspot.com/2009/02/another-bus.html
What do you mean "probably"?
Pascal would point out
that's not totally reassuring.
Here's Your Sign in the Sky;
Even God slashed his budget.
There is no God
This bus is guided by an invisible hand.
This bus does not believe in God.
or red lights.
If there is no God
Who was it standing at the last stop?
If there is no God
then this job is your fault.
Burma-shave:
In times of Trouble, who do you trust?
Pray to God for a big, red bus.
Nerd-core:
This is not a sign
Because there is no signified.
By the by, I'm glad the posts are in jest. I was always a little uncomfortable with this series that has been on billboards in the us for years:
http://www.bible-reading.com/billboard.html
Good, silly fun, thanks :)
"you're probably not going to enjoy your life, so why not believe in God?"
If there's only probability and no God, why do you stop enjoying your life and start worrying?
"Maybe there is a God. Shouldn't you investigate?"
"Don't sneeze! You might miss something pithy and profound..."
For God's sake I'm not bothered so shut up about God.
Which god-idea?
Whose god-idea?
Why not leave the word god out of it completely?
The heart must be permitted to achieve a universal feeling-ecstasy!
or
Happiness IS the Conscious Light of the world.
Laudate, omnibus gentes, laudate dominum!
Along the same lines as Theo:
Ex omnibus
tribulationibus meis
eripuit me.
"You better have your ticket ready. There's a slow bus comin' up around the bend"
Swing Low Sweet Chariot
Coming for to
carry me home
And, very topically for London at the moment...
There's probably snow God. So put on your wellies and walk to work.
Deus ex machina?
You probably won't find God on the side of a bus.
Take the red pill.
Stay in Wonderland. See how deep the rabbit hole goes.
Your wife is probably not cheating on you. Your son is probably not on drugs. You will probably not be laid off due to the economic crisis. Just close your eyes and enjoy the ride!
Kant was wrong, this bus will be the object of your demise.
There's probably no probability. So stop enjoying statistics and get a life!
My favourite is one on a bus shelter:
There's probably no bus. You'd better start walking
I realize I'm a little late, but:
There are probably no gods. Swans safe for virgins again.
Some atheists are probably more spiritual than some religious people
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