Ninety-minute sermon blues
On Sunday morning we went along to a big African American church here in LA. I always enjoy this kind of worship service – though on this occasion, it turned out to be a whopping three hours of singing, preaching, praising, preaching, foot-stomping, and, yes, more preaching. Afterwards I wrote a blues song about the experience. I'd like to dedicate this one to all you preachers out there...
Ninety-Minute Sermon Blues
[Chords: A7, D7, E7]
Well preacher-man talking
About David and King Saul
But if he don't stop talking soon
Ima crawl on out that door
I'm stuck in my pew
With the ninety-minute sermon blues
At first I was so happy
I shouted out Amen
But that was back before the preacher
Started up again
I'm stuck in my pew
With the ninety-minute sermon blues
Well you took away my sins Lord
And I know that's a fact
But if that preacher don't stop soon
Ima have to take them back
Cause I'm stuck in my pew
With the ninety-minute sermon blues
Well get me some whisky
Lord and get me some gin
Cause the preacher-man's still shouting
And it's nearly half-past ten
Still stuck in my pew
With these ninety-minute sermon blues
[mournful harmonica solo]
Oh sister can you help me
I'm feeling mighty blue
And if you need some loving
Sister, I can help you too
If you're stuck in your pew
With those ninety-minute sermon blues
Baby I'm stuck here too
Ninety-minute sermon blues
Well you took away my sins Lord
And I know that's a fact
But if that preacher don't stop soon
Ima have to take them back
That, my dear Ben, is quite possibly the second-best Blues lyric I have ever had the pleasure of hearing/reading. Bravo.
(the best, in case you're wondering, is The Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain's You talk about my drinking, but you don't talk about my thirst)
What a fruitful three hours! Great stuff Ben. Now for the MP3 download please ;-)
Did you not feel like leaving was an option?
I'd try this out on my new banjo, but its cheerful twang of hope is ill-suited for these lyrics.
Very nice. You've the soul of an artist, Sir... by which I mean, the willingness to blaze madly in any new direction, just for the joy of it. Lovely.
For the other extreme in "sermonology" see my web site... I know I risk a song being written, but my day can't get much worse! http://stteves10.libsyn.com/
I ain't no preacher (Praise the Lord)
But I would advise you to stick with your day job
Per a couple of comments posted: only one who has had to try and say something about God for no more (please God) than twenty minutes, or trembled at the fearful prospect of the same (per Karl Barth: I must speak, God help and forgive me) can understand the sentiment of your song. I, for one, plan on passing it along to my priest! Gratefully, John McNassor
Brilliant, reminds me of the three hour liturgy that I attended with a friend in a Russian Orthodox church in Toronto once. Our first mistake was to go and stand on the women's side. Second mistake: not knowing that it was going to be only standing the entire time.
Enjoy your pew mate!
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