Wednesday, 27 November 2013

AAR/SBL in Baltimore: a report in rhyme

Scholars
At SBL and AAR,
Scholars come from near and far
To drink together at the bar.

Papers
At AAR and SBL,
Everyone is smart as hell
(Their papers can be hell as well).

Sightseeing
All the scholars stop and stare
At Oliver Crisp and his facial hair.

Jobs
If you have a PhD
And like to be abused,
You can pay an extra fee
To go to interviews.

Books
Thousands of new books on display,
But which are worth reading? Who can say?

Publishers
They greet you with kind words and friendly looks.
But when your back is turned they pounce –
And force you to write books.

Length
Two things are exceedingly long
(I won't say exceedingly weird):
The first is a book by Nicholas Tom,
The second is Oliver's beard.

Panel
I went to the afternoon panel,
It sounded excellent too;
But I fled for my life when I heard someone mention
The names of Zizek and Badiou.

Friends
My friend had drunk too many drinks
At the Wipf & Stock reception.
He kissed my cheek and said, "I'm straight –
But for you I'd make an exception."

New book
When you see them buying and selling your book,
You suddenly feel exposed:
Like one of those dreams where you're preaching a sermon
But haven't put on any clothes.

Homesick
By Sunday I was feeling blue.
I missed the ones I left at home:
My dog, my cat –
By Tuesday I had missed my family too.

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