Saturday, 25 December 2010

Christmas clerihews

by Kim Fabricius

Zech
Cries, “A child? Bloody heck!”
Famous last words he speaks –
For forty weeks.

Liz
Was in such a tizz
At her lump
That it jumped.

Gabe
said, “Hey, babe,
Just say ‘No’
No mo.”

Mary
For her first was chaste – very.
“But, please,” she pleaded, “Not ergo
Semper virgo.”

Joe
Was sooo
Gutted when he heard the news
That he tanked up on turps till he snoozed.

Emperor Augustus
Banned coitus interruptus
To make his census
Immensus.

Keepers of sheep
Were awakened from sleep
To hear seraphim singing of hope.
(It was the dope.)

Herod the Great
Was a right reprobate
Who liked bonking and butchering babies.
He got his comeuppance by dying of scabies.

The magi,
Who didn’t know Micah from Haggai,
Didn’t need the Good Book –
They just looked.

Simeon and Anna,
Eighty-odd, yelled, “Hosanna!”
“Christmas is for kids” we are told.
No! It’s for the old!

7 Comments:

arthurandtamie said...

Love the F&T poetry! Thanks again!

A.

tortoise said...

Donkey,
After his loooong walk, felt wonky;
But the cattle felt even stranger
Seeing a baby in their manger.

John Hartley said...

Do I detect yet another of these Matthew-and-Luke combined harmonization jobs?

Matt
plays the official straight bat:
plenty of OT citations,
fulfilled by the Christ for all nations.

Luke,
writing a "Dear Theo" book,
uses birth stories to show
how this babe is the One we should know.

Only the Fathers
thought they'd very much rather
iron out all of the nits
and present just one size for all fits.

Yours in Christ - JOHN HARTLEY.

Chris Donato said...

“Not ergo
Semper virgo.”

Thanks for the cheap laugh.

kim fabricius said...

Hey Chris, if you think that's cheap, you should have seen the second line of the first draft!

Chris Donato said...

“Not ergo
Semper virgo.”

Thanks for the cheap laugh.

kim fabricius said...

Hey Chris, if you think that's cheap, you should have seen the second line of the first draft!

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